My husband wasn't able to fill up the barn with hay before he left so I took it upon myself to do so. Please keep in mind that I am about 6 months pregnant at this time. So one Saturday I hook up the livestock trailer and load up my four children and head south to pick up hay. I get about 15 miles from the house and hit a dirt road. No biggie, except it rained the day before. I can do this. Three more miles down the road and my truck starts to slide. Pretty soon I am jack-knifed with the trailer and my front end is buried in a sand bank. Ugh! I had no clue how to get out and no one else was going to be crazy enough to drive this road today. So I put my youngest on my hip and gave my son the backpack with snacks and started walking back towards the pavement. About a mile down the road, the postal worker drove by in his 4x4 pick-up! Yea! He helped me get unstuck and I turned around and went home! I did go back and get the hay eventually. But then I had to unload all of it by myself because it was starting to rain! I was so exhausted.
The next two months included picking up three new goats, building a goat pen for my buck, running two goats to the auction, taking another goat to the vet for an injured hoof, breeding rabbits (which had 3 unsuccessful litters), and milking one other goat. This was all on top of my regular duties as mommy. Now I'm 8 months pregnant and having lots of rib and sciatic pain.
I was VERY blessed with many who came and volunteered their time to help around the farm. My mother-in-law flew out one weekend and helped get some necessary things done. I even took the kids to an overnight field trip to a science museum where I had to sleep on the floor. As the arrival of our 5th child was getting near, I was getting anxious about everything working out as it should. So my sister ended up coming out a week before the birth and staying with me through the birth. Another friend flew out and stayed with the kids while I gave birth. It was very comforting knowing all was taken care of.
Now the baby is almost 2 months old and the chores haven't stopped. The baby, lovingly called Peanut, got his first 4-wheeler ride at 2 weeks old as I unloaded feed and delivered it to each barn. Praise God my mother was here to help. By this point I had stopped milking, but animals still had to eat! By the time Peanut was 4 weeks old I was left on my own. It took a little adjusting, but I am getting the hang of this. I am very blessed with great kids and a great church family and loving friends.
Now that I am breastfeeding, I have lots of reading time. I am so grateful for this time. The Lord has taught me much through my quiet times and the not-so-quiet times. At the beginning of this adventure I was sure He was trying to teach me humility as I was having to push aside my pride and ask for help. But that wasn't it. Then He revealed to me that I was missing true joy. And as part of that process, I have come to understand a freeing truth!
I am such a research-a-holic and like to analyze every situation, circumstance, and relationship. So I tend to get over-worried about things like "Does my child really understand the gospel?" or "Am I ruining my kids?" Yes, I want my children to give their lives to Christ. No, I don't want to ruin them. But God has asked me to obey Him and trust Him to do the rest. Trusting my children's lives to the one Creator is what He asks of me. Teaching my children Jesus' love is my responsibility. I need to focus more on following Jesus, than spending my energy worrying about "what if I'm doing this wrong?" I'm not the most eloquent with words and I pray I have voiced myself well. The Lord is doing great works in the Johnson household this year.
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